I grew up in the church. Literally, it felt like I was always there. My grandparents are pastors too! So when I was little, I was at their church all the time. I have such fond memories there. And our family still holds dear friendships with those people. My dad has been a music pastor at several churches. But he's worn so many more hats than just "the guy who leads worship". He's actually been in ministry for over 30 years! Crazy, I know.
Being in ministry with your parents is not easy. Like, at all. You see so many different sides of ministry that most people don't. The good, the bad, the miraculous, and the ugly. I've had to move a couple times, and that sure is not easy. Leaving your friends and family because your parents said, "God is calling us here," as a kid, didn't always make sense. However, my parents instilled in me from a very young age that God will take care of us. They always said that following God's call on their lives was such a big blessing. It may seem like a risk to drop everything because God said so, but it always worked out for the absolute best. I truly believe our family is better because we have followed God's call and His will for our lives.
With that being said, I've seen how several different churches and their staff operate. I've watched different leaders and pastors lead their church gracefully, and I've also been incredibly disappointed in how some "leaders" handled certain situations. No one is perfect. Pastors are definitely not the exception. It's so easy to put pastors on a pedestal and to hold them to such a high standard that we don't think they can fail. There's definitely a balance to being a leader and leading by example, but we have to understand that pastors are imperfect humans too. That's a totally different topic altogether! Bottom line, even though they are human, leaders have to hold their standards high, operate with extreme integrity, and lead by example.
I'm proud to say my parents have done just that. They have been incredible leaders, people of character, amazing examples, and never seem to fall back on that. They have been mistreated (just like the rest of us), and have never used that as an excuse to lash out or to mistreat those who turned against them. They don't try to get revenge or make sure people know their side of the story. They hold their heads high and keep trekking along on the path that God has set before them. No matter the situation, they come out stronger with a pretty great story to tell. They lead by example, admit their faults, always strive to do better, they serve the people around them, all while being great parents.
I also have seen how different churches behave, and let me tell you. It isn't always pretty. I've always found that so sad and disheartening. The church, Christ followers, Christians, are called to be different. We are set apart! Yet sometimes, church people get wrapped up in drama, become petty, act ugly, and can be unforgiving people! That goes for leaders and church members alike! Yes, I know, we're human and make mistakes. But when church people start acting crazy like that? I have never understood that.
As the preacher's kid, I've been made fun of, called "goody two-shoes" on a regular basis, been left out of all the "normal" activities, and that was never easy growing up. I've become an adult who is more than okay with being left out because of my standards and morals. Sure, would it hurt to be invited to more things? No, not at all! But I also know that God has called me higher and I'm more than okay walking alone sometimes. I'm proud of who my parents have raised me to be, and being the goody two-shoes is pretty great to me. :)
Now, a lot of that probably sounded pretty negative, so it's time to flip the switch. Being a preacher's kid comes with a lot of joys. It's so easy to be proud of your parents when they are truly walking in the will of God. I get to watch them do what God has called them to do, and I get to see the impact they have on people around them every single day. They inspire so many people, and that's not just in the church. They get to share their story and testimony and encourage others in their journeys. I've watched them grow their ministry into something new and exciting over the years, and I know it's only going to keep growing.
I've been blessed with so many opportunities because of my parent's ministry. I've been able to travel with them to all sorts of cool places. I've met countless people, and some of those people have become life long friends and our second family. I was pretty spoiled as a kid because I got to run around campgrounds and churches. I thought I owned the place alllll because my dad was Jeff Hickman lol. I have had the pleasure of singing alongside my parents on many occasions. I absolutely love leading worship with them. If you know my dad, you know that he is truly one of the greatest musicians of all time (and no, I'm not biased). Getting to stand up next to them and worship with them is something I will cherish forever.
To my fellow preacher's kids: I see you. I know it's not always easy, but I'm proud of you. Your parents are proud of you. Jesus is proud of you! I know you didn't choose to be in ministry, and if you're like me, you were born into it. You don't know anything different! Keep finding the joys in ministry. Don't let the hard things weigh you down for too long. You've got this. Don't give up, friend. :)
At the end of the day, all of the cool things, people, and opportunities don't even compare to the absolute joy it has been to be Jeff and Ashley Hickman's daughter. I'm so proud of who they are, pastors or not. Being a preacher's kid is pretty dang cool, if I do say so myself. I would not trade the late nights, the happy and sad days, the good, the bad, all of the church potluck meals, and the endless traveling for anything. Thank you, mom and dad. Your ministry has changed me for the better.
